There’s no denying it, sharing cannabis with your romantic partner is the best. It’s the fastest way to intimacy and there’s no shortage of great products designed with just that in mind. But what happens if you’re keen and your partner isn’t?
“It really is about being able to communicate,” says Molly Peckler, CEO of Highly Devoted, the world’s first cannabis matchmaking service.
While the stoner stigma around cannabis is dissipating—thanks legalization and Broad City!—some non-users still associate weed with Cheech and Chong.
According to Peckler, educating your partner is the first step. Cannabis has a sketchy reputation in some circles, but helping your partner understand why you use it—dispelling the misinformation—can go a long way. Not every cannabis user is Spicoli in “Fast Times”.
For many of us, it’s a safe, natural and non-addictive way to treat anxiety, insomnia and pain. It can be a great facilitator around creativity and focus or for straight relaxation. Spelling this out for your partner invites them into that experience.
“Really understanding what it does [for you], that’s the primary thing you need to figure out,” says Peckler. “And once you can communicate that clearly and concisely, then that’s a great way to have someone understand where you’re coming from and really empathize with you.”
Okay, but what happens when you want to light up or nibble on an edible in the company of your partner and they’re still not on board? According to Peckler, this is a very normal dynamic for a lot of couples.
“As long as it does not take away from your ability to connect with someone else and pay attention to them and really be there with them in the moment, then I don’t think there are any issues,” she says.
Like with any substance, moderation and knowing your personal tolerance is key. The last thing your partner wants is to watch you chortle to yourself for two hours while bogarting the Halo Top. (We’re grown-ups now!)
On the other hand, if your partner seems down to try cannabis—either for the first time or again after a bad experience (with edibles, no doubt)—seize that opportunity.
Peckler suggests starting with microdosing. Certain oil vaporizers are designed to give you a consistent experience and offer very specific CBD to THC ratios. If you’d prefer to start without any psychoactive effects at all, Wildflower makes a refreshing CBD-only vaporizer. And if you’re up for taking it between the sheets, there’s always a cannabis-infused lubricant like Foria’s THC-free Awaken, which won’t get you high but promises to increase blood-flow to your nether regions.
When the moment strikes, it’s always a good idea to introduce your partner to cannabis in a really safe space like your home. Realizing you’re uncomfortable after using cannabis in public can induce paranoia or anxiety reminiscent of our collective high school weed smoking nightmares. Besides, cannabis is just so much more sophisticated now.
Okay, but what if all that doesn’t work? Is it possible to have a lasting relationship when one person uses cannabis and the other does not?
Yes, of course, says Peckler. It’s all about patience and baby steps.